🗣️ "Level with me... You're using ozempic 💉, aren't you?!"
🗣️ "😂 no, no, no. I train consistently and I don't waste my calories."
🗣️ "I equally train consistently and I've dialled in my diet but nothing's changing 😔. C'mon, just tell me the truth!"

👆🏿a restructured and remixed transcript from a recent conversation I had with an acquaintance. "What could it be? Why am I not losing weight despite putting in the same work you do? And this belly?" - A summary of follow up questions. I suggested three possible reasons, in my opinion, that are generally applicable across the vast majority of us that are seemingly doing all the right things, but just not moving the needle on the scale.

Reason #1  - Diet Quality
How do you know if your diet is dialled in? Are you tracking it? Or are you arriving at the assumed conclusion because you've had a few apples 🍎 in recent times? The point is, many us are not fully alive to the quality of our diet. The fix? Track it and score it. An effective way to improve your diet quality is to score the quality of your current diet and continue to score your diet quality as you make efforts to improve it. How? Matt Fitzgerald, in his book Racing Weight, developed a simplified diet-quality scoring system which I have since modelled in Excel for my personal use and I'm more than happy to share with you here. 

Reason #2 - Excessive Dieting
Diet hard and long and you will effectively be pulling the handbrake on your metabolism. The fix? Gradually bump up your food intake, ideally with fiber and fruit. Do everything you have been doing but fuse in more fruit and fiber such weetabix (Shoprite), muesli (Woolworths) and psyllium husk (Umoyo). When it comes to fruit I'm loyal to the streets so whatever fruit is in season and sold by the roadside, I buy and consume every chance I get. Mangoes 🥭 and masuku are not safe around me this time around, nor are avocadoes 🥑 (technically a fruit).

Reason #3 - Overestimating Caloric Burn from Exercise and then Celebrating Too Early
It's either you 🧠🥵 or the technology ⌚️ 🤳🏿 you're relying on that's misleading you and not as accurate as you think. Most people are overstating the number of calories they're burning from exercise, and that creates unrealistic expectations on 'body transformations'. And sometimes it extends to the diet - "I was on the stair-master for 45 minutes surely I deserve cookie 🍪 for my efforts." That kind of self-sabotage means work done is equal to zero.

That's my 2 cents on the matter, and I'm far from a little guy so the ozempic suggestion is pure comedy to me. 

As Father time starts to impose himself and dish out age-old life lessons, I've started to struggle with issues that were never issues in the years prior. I've been forced to make adjustments to cope with the shocks of my relatively young but ageing body. Here's how I'm going about it:

Hangovers 🤢
Years, even months prior, I'd happily enjoy a drink 🥃 and wake up feeling brand new. That is no longer the case. A few drinks and my sleep is extended by several hours alongside a mind splitting headache. After recently being exposed to it, I've now decided to settle on non-alcoholic beer 🍺. It surprisingly tastes great, keeps my belly in check and enables social integration while simultaneously taking away all the not so sexy stuff about alcohol.

🛒Alcohol free beer is available in Shoprite and PicknPay.

Bathroom visits 💩
Timeline is hazy, but I do remember times when bathroom activity was routine, and the job got done with minimum fuss. That is no longer the case, even with the consistent addition of muesli, yoghurt and psyllium husk into my diet. I'd go, but not as frequently as I'd like, and usually there would be a pile up or runny tummy. I've made one subtle tweak and it's mended my relationship with the toilet. While still consuming muesli with yoghurt, I'd get psyllium husk in its powder form, grab a teaspoon of it and mix it in 500-750ml of water and shake vigorously before downing it all. The optimal pooping frequency is 1-2 times per day, assuming each session is proper offloading of cargo. If this doesn't sound like you then you might need help with clearing the backlog.

​🛒 Psyllium husk in powder form is available at the Good Food Shop and Umoyo.

Gas 💨
I used to love beans 🫘! I still do. Just not enough to bear the consequences of consuming them. I recently learned that many commercial outlets weave in soda to the preparation of beans to shorten the cooking time 🤯! Explains the bubbles 🫧. Cook your own beans if you can't do without them for quality control and a less brutal impact. Chilli 🌶️ products create similar levels of discomfort for those whose stomachs like mine are suddenly rebelling! If you can't do without them then ramp up your water intake to help dilute the acids in your stomach. Wisdom also dictates that you steer clear of carbonated drinks and milk 🥛 if you can't handle it. Non-carbonated drinks and almond milk might handle you better.

🛒 When all else fails then over-the-counter antacids can help neutralize stomach acid for those known to struggle with it. This is a temporary fix.

Sweetness 🍡
Sugar and honey 🍯 are the go-to products when one wants to sweeten things up. But over-indulgence in either quickly starts to show on your face with acne, your teeth with cavities and your belly with excess calories. Stevia, an artificial sweetener can be a decent substitute for your cereal, your tea and anything else you need sweetened. For compulsive juice drinkers, you might want to explore alternative drinks that serve less than 10g or less of sugar per total serving. READ the label, and try to be adventurous as you aim to satisfy your sweet tooth.

​🛒 Stevia, and other similar sweeteners are available at the Good Food Shop and Umoyo.

Mental Lapses
Suddenly feeling forgetful? Maybe you can't find your keys or the mental note you had made for something that needed to get done inexplicably erases itself? I take my father's approach to all such matters. Something comes up? Deal with it immediately. Memory will betray you if you place too much trust in it. Another supplementary approach to this is the 2 min rule. If something comes up and it will take 2 minutes to resolve, DEAL. An email 📧, messy in-person situation🗣️, phone conversation 🤳🏿, text message 📲, dishes 🍛 - anything. Address it. More than 2 minutes? Write it down for action later. 

Ever been conscious of the fact that unpleasant social interactions often eat away at your mental health? I just got off a call with a loved one, and they just had one of those encounters. I started to recall my own episodes and dissect them. Why did they happen? What were the triggers? How was I affected and what did I learn from it?

Mwaiche Wandi (My Youngster)
🗣️"Ni mufana wanga uyu!" (That's my young boy!) said the bank teller as I walked up to his till. I looked left, looked right, and even looked behind me to establish who this gentleman was talking to before realizing I was the only customer in close proximity. He persisted, even sharing childhood memories I remembered nothing of. Some of you might have had similar interactions in different environments such as those with deluded former high school or college superstars  thinking they still reign supreme by reminding you of a social hierarchy that no longer exists.

The fact is, you're never doing as well as the person you're trying to belittle. And to those that are victims of this practice, take it as a compliment as people often inflate themselves 🎈just to find enough oxygen to hold a conversation with you and make themselves feel better about their shortcomings.

🎣 Don't take the bait!
I vividly remember a nasty encounter with a superior who kept poking the bear very early in the morning at the office! In all his malice, and with my fury evident in my flushed face and steaming nostrils 😤, my guardian angel sat on my shoulder and warned me: "Nick. He's a fisherman." At the time I felt small, muted with a lump in my throat, but eventually found satisfaction in wisdom prevailing. In corporate and social settings, people will try to drag you down, and if you're not alert, by the time you're done rolling in the mud 🐖 🤬, the only dirty pig is you.

Fishermen catch any fish dumb enough to bite. Never let anyone bait you into a reaction 😡. When in doubt, close your mouth.

🦻🏾 Umfwa iwe (Listen)
I have a borrowed story for this section. I recall a colleague of mine reaching out because they were being imposed upon, and spoken to condescendingly repeatedly by a coworker. They wanted to retaliate with an uppercut, and a roundhouse kick, but I advised against it. Why? Because thick skin 🐊 saves many from emotional meltdowns and reputational damage. You don't have to address or confront every situation or person that offends you. Always view disrespect as the distributor's deficiency, not the receiver's. Overwhelm them with respect and kindness, it'll infuriate them. Lead with love and eventually you'll tame the beast.

I was mindlessly browsing through Facebook when a video recommendation popped up on my feed. It basically had a woman reminding people that, just because you consume expensive alcohol 🥃 or engage in other illicit and intoxicating activities, doesn't exempt you from the label "junkie." The criteria was simplified: drink or get high every day? You're a junkie! She was swinging at the classist society, but her short clip served as a reminder and made me think: How many of us are unconscious addicts? Functioning alcoholics? Human chimneys 🚬 🪴? Nymphomaniacs 🐇? As someone who escaped the human chimney trap, I feel compelled to share how I overcame my own addiction to nicotine*.

One day at a time/I will not smoke today
There's nothing as soothing as taking things one day at a time. It unshackles you from the burden of thinking about the mammoth task ahead of you, such as overcoming addiction. "I will NOT smoke today," done repeatedly, gets you to day 365, and you’re no longer even consciously battling cravings because you’ve evolved to be indifferent to them. Wake up and commit to not doing whatever it is that you do that’s not good for you, day in and day out, and eventually you’ll overcome it.

Kill the trigger
Ever read the book Atomic Habits 📖? This will sound familiar, but if not, read carefully. Habits are formed in a 4-step loop of cue, craving, response, and reward. Let's use a smoker's loop as a template: Cue = I just had a meal. Craving = I need some nicotine 🚬 to complete this enjoyment. Response = Light a cigarette 🚬. Reward = Feel good after the dopamine rush from the cigarette smoke 🧠 😁. You can kill this cycle by making the cue 'invisible', so eat and use the opportunity right after to do something else like take a walk or call your wife for some of you unloving husbands 😌. Next, make the craving 'unattractive' by simply googling health effects of smokers, preferably on Google Images. Next, make the action difficult by keeping cigarettes as far away and as inconvenient to obtain as possible. Finally, make the reward unattractive. For the menthol smokers among us, I strongly encourage grabbing yourself a Peter Red, aka 12v, from around the corner as one puff of that will make you reconsider your life decisions.

Chinjeni abandi / Change your friends
Change your friends. Might be temporary, but more often than not, it’s permanent. Surround yourself with people who already have the habits you want locked in, and bolt 🏃🏿‍♂️💨 from those who don’t. You’re a product of the things and people you choose to expose yourself to.

Don’t test your gangster
Whatever you do, don’t test yourself. Struggle with alcohol? Don’t keep it in your house. Struggle with cigarettes and other inhalable items? Don’t keep them in your house, car, or any other environment you frequent. Self-prescribed tests often end in failure. You just don’t have the self-restraint you think you do, no matter how much you try to gas yourself up.
​
*Nicotine is the active, addictive ingredient in cigarettes 🚬.

🗣️ "I'm not going to eat that, I don't waste my calories 😔." - A statement often repeated by my lioness of a wife when presented with a food and/or drink option that is not entirely appealing to her. It both amuses and recalibrates me at the same time. How many of us eat or drink things we don't really enjoy just because that's what's there? Just because we don't have any immediate alternatives? Just because we're unreasonably hungry or thirsty? Just because that's what we paid for? Refusing to settle is probably one of the best nutritional hacks you can implement for the betterment of your overall health. Here's how you can apply it:
​
Don't compromise
Have a standard for everything you consume, whether it's juice, alcohol, snacks or food. Do not consume anything for the sake of it. For the sake of thirst or hunger. Set your level and don't compromise.

Keep it simple
If the drink options don't appeal to you, keep it simple and stick to water. Too boring? Grab yourself some sparkling water for a bit of a zing. If the food options don't appeal to you, stick to what you know. Experimentation can lead you to a calorie disaster that packs on the pounds while eliminating the aspect of pleasure. If you're going to consume a 'wrong' thing, at least ensure that it's worth it. And as always, don't overdo it no matter how good it tastes.

Stop digging 
I'm all for exploration and trying out new things but if you find yourself consuming something that you don't really like, stop chewing. It doesn't matter if you've paid for it. Cut your losses and move on. You can't have something offend both your taste buds and your waistline.

Learn to say no
You might be out somewhere and you're offered something you don't ordinarily consume. When faced with this situation politely decline. I've often found that people typically offer consumables for one of two reasons; one is they're just trying to be friendly, and offering you some hoping you'll say no because they don't really want to share, and the other is sharing of misery. If someone is doing something they inherently know is bad, they'll unconsciously (or consciously) look for a partner in crime. They'll be various scenarios presented to you ranging from widespread distribution of vitumbuwa to cheap sweets to cheap booze. Learn to say no, and stay focused on what's good for you...or as a bare minimum stay focused on what's really enjoyable and worth the calories for you.

🗣️ "The person who chases two rabbits catches neither." Ever heard this before? Probably, but anyone that may not have heard it or indeed has heard it but does not understand it I'll bring you up to speed. It's a cautionary tale for people to focus on one goal at a time and knock things off the to-do list methodically and systemically. I took this, and evaluated it in the context of fitness after experiencing a plateau and feeling like I'm just going through the motions during my sessions. I've alway been a fitness generalist and a hybrid athlete chasing many proverbial rabbits in the form of cosmetics, fat loss, strength and endurance all at the same time.  Frustration has pushed me to dial it back, and focus on one rabbit; endurance (muscular and aerobic). The rationale is simple, as mastery in it, in all likelihood gives me cosmetics and fat loss as a by-product. I'll lose strength, but I can live with that. Nobody cares how strong you are, but they care how strong you look. Here's my one-rabbit endurance playbook:

Training (AM)
I'll retain dual gym sessions, but the morning portion that's weights only has been revised to moderate that's challenging that involves high repetitions, supersets, giant sets and drop sets for a maximum of 1 hour, but preferably 45 minutes or less to minimize total systemic fatigue and muscle damage.

• High repetitions means 15 to 20 repetitions per set of whatever exercise I choose to do. Basically crank it till it burns 🥵. Weight selected must be reasonably challenging.
• Supersets are 2 different exercises done back to back without rest. e.g. triceps extensions to bicep curls.
• Giant sets are 3-4 or more exercises done back to back on the same muscle group, without rest. e.g Barbell bench press to dumbbell flyes to push ups.
• Drop sets are 2 or more sets of the same exercises done back to back, dropping the amount of weight each set with little to no rest. e.g. Bicep curls at 100lbs, 90lbs, 80lbs, 70lbs.

❗️When executed properly, you and the guy who went for a morning run 🏃🏿‍♂️ or opted to box 🥊 will be equally fatigued.

Training (PM) 
An hour of cardio regulated by heart rate. I wear a plain vanilla Garmin 55 ⌚️ to track my heart rate and to;

1. Evaluate my overall recovery. Is my high rate too high for level of activity I am engaging in?
2. Evaluate the level of perceived exertion against my heart rate. Aka am I being lazy?
3. Track my sleep. Have I slept for at least 7 hours?
4. Track my overall activity and steps. Have I hit my 10,000 steps target?
5. Tell me fitness reality (VO2 max, fitness age etc) as a supplement to my health and fitness model. 
6. Have as a log book for all my fitness activities. Am I hitting my daily fitness targets and can I see improvements over time?

If any of this interests you, ask your trainer how you can incorporate it into your program to spice things up.

This weekend freed up some for me for to go running 🏃🏿‍♂️ and as soon as I got done with that my fitness watch bombarded me with a whole bunch of fitness metrics. Stuff like "Ba Majula mwaume!", "Ba Majula mula butuka!" "Mr. Majula, you run these streets!", "Mr. Majula, you handsome savage!" There was more, but I'll stop here for the sake of progress. Some were useful, others less so. The experience made me wonder if others struggled to focus on the health and fitness metrics that, in my opinion, really mattered. I decided to rival my fitness watch and build my own fitness tracking model in excel (link below) for anyone with basic information about themselves to quickly decipher their health and fitness reality. I zeroed in on the following:

Body Mass Index (BMI) 
While it doesn't account for muscle mass for the gorillas among us, it does give a reasonable assessment of whether the nyama you're carrying around is fair for your height. The more mass you have the more stress you're placing your heart. The more stress you're placing on your the heart, the faster it depreciates. You understand how this ends, right? Check your BMI and get it under control or at least not too far out of the recommended ranges.

Ideal Weight 
Same reasoning as above applies, but with caution. Depending on your genetics and the activity you involve yourself in e.g bodybuilding, this may give you a lower result than might actually be ideal. Wisdom is not looking at this result in isolation, but alongside other metrics shared and your general sense of wellbeing. 

Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)
BMR is the amount of calories you burn essentially doing nothing and just staying alive. If you're meticulous about your approach to fitness then knowing your BMR is the foundation of calorie tracking. Useful method for the calorie warriors among us. Use it alongside apps like my fitness pal or nutrionix to get your nutrition dialed in.

Body Fat (Waist to Height Ratio)
While many body fat calculation methods exist out there, for most people a simple waist to height ratio will give you a body fat reality check because when it comes down to it, the hips truly don't lie. ​Make use of the waist to height ratio to establish potential health risks.

Hydration 💧
It's easy to overlook hydration, but it comes with a whirlwind of problems from fatigue to headaches to constipation. Drink up, track consumption and make adjustments where necessary. You'll look and feel better.

Vo2 Max 🫀🫁
Your VO2 max refers to how well you can utilize oxygen during exercise. It is the gold standard of fitness. The higher it is the bigger your aerobic engine.

Resting Heart Rate
Measures how effectively your heart is at pumping blood. The heart is a muscle, the stronger it is the better and it shows in your resting heart heart. Barring a medical condition, the lower it is, the better.

Upper Body, Lower Body and Core Strength
It all consists of push ups, deadlifts and planks. Plug your numbers into the model for a dose of truth serum.

Mental Fitness
Last, but not least is the mental fitness test. While I don't have a model built to assess this, the test is simple, just answer this question: "Are you reasonably happy?". Answer yes and you're certified, by a me, a bush doctor, mentally fit. Answer no, and you've got some work to do. Life is too short to be anything less than happy. My advice? Start putting people KU WIRE. You'll feel better 😊

🔗 Heath and Fitness Model Link:
Link to Downloadable Excel Model

👨🏾‍💻Download and stress test it.

I recently touched base with a fellow gym rat, and noted a significant downsizing that basically turned this lad into a lean, mean looking gorilla! I went straight to it: 🗣️ "What did you do?". His response: 🗣️ "One meal a day my guy. I only eat at 18 hours and I feel phenomenal!" 🤯. 🤔Challenge accepted. Summer's around the corner, I might as well start cutting now. This is my revised training and nutrition protocol:

Nutrition
Uncle OMAD (One Meal a Day) until further notice. Well, more like one eating session with various small meals comprising of the following:

• One small bowl of muesli, with natural yoghurt and dried cranberries or raisins.
• One avocado 🥑 and banana 🍌 smoothie  (1 avocado, 2 bananas, 1-2 tablespoons of honey 🍯, 1 tablespoon of chia seeds, 250 mls of milk 🥛).
• Rice/Potatoes/Nshima with tbone, chicken or fish with vegetables on the side.

To be consumed in the order presented above.

Supplements

• Multivitamin 💊. Dieting can create nutrition deficiencies, a good multivitamin can help plug the gaps. I stick to Wellman Multivitamin. Cairo Chemist is my plug. 
• Pro nutrition's Pump n Cut. For an enhanced strength training experience and small boost to my metabolism in the morning.

Training

• 1 hour of strength training in the morning, every morning.
• 1.6 - 3.2 kilometer run in the evening, every evening.
• 10, 000 steps daily. Without fail.
• 7 hours of sleep daily. Without fail.

Additional items:

• Chapstick. No food for prolonged periods + cold weather = crusty lips.
• Sugar free gum. It can help take your mind off food, keep your mouth busy and temporarily suppress your appetite.
• Sparkling water. Sparkling water can't be quickly consumed and offers a more exciting alternative to plain old water.
• Warm lemon water 🍋 💧. This can help give your body a bath on the inside and will likely stimulate bowel movement. Great addition for those whose stomachs can handle it.

This is my blueprint for the next couple of weeks. The idea is when I get to the summer, nobody should call my phone for a party... unless it's a pool party 😌.

⚠️ Proceed with caution. Uncle OMAD might not be a welcome relative at your family reunion. 

A challenging week dominated by emotional instability brought me back to the drawing board and questioning myself - Am I losing my glow? 🤔 Yes? No? Maybe? Temporary glitch, I concluded. This is how I plan on getting my mojo back, and for those in the same position, take notes:

Talk to Thyself 🗣️
Ever heard of the the 5 love languages? One of them happens to be words of affirmation, and you won't know if you speak it fluently until you express it lovingly to yourself. Find moments to encourage and lift yourself up as often as possible. Personally, I use mirrors as a trigger. I smile in every mirror🪞 and tell myself "Nick. You got this!". It's simple, effective and applicable to nearly all circumstances. Find your own sweet whispers to help you find your balance. Other ways could be sticky notes with encouraging messages (things you wish your boss would say more you should say to yourself) stuck on your PC monitor or desk, or handwritten notes i.e 'Show up and show out' thrown in your gym bag to lift you up and keep you going.

Exit 'WhatsApp Groups'
Exit any and all groups, cartels, conversation threads consolidating complaints and negativity. These don't serve a purpose in your life, in fact, they're anchors that'll drag you down and drown you. Protect your flame 🔥.

Find Your Proverbial 'Tribe' 🐾
How? Talk to people. I personally gravitate towards high energy ⚡️, bubbly characters because those personality traits are contagious. I want that, so I will choose to surround myself with it. You should too. Want to feel better? Happier? More positive? Seek out people that already put out this energy and before long it'll rub off on you. For those that don't speak your 'language' or align with the values you want, refer to preceding suggestion. I lost the plot during the week because I found comfort in interactions with disgruntled and unhappy human beings. We sat there trading struggle stories trying to outdo each other 🤦🏿‍♂️. Don't let this be you.

Turn Up the Music 🎶
Uplifting, positive music early in the morning 🌅 set the foundation for the kind of energy you'll bring to your day. Play gangster music in the morning and you'll be a gangster at work. Spin records that ignite the energy you want to give the day. It could be pop music, gospel or afrobeats - whatever gets the juices flowing turn up the volume 🎧.

Celebrate Milestones and Embrace Setbacks
It's about progress, not perfection so if you ever feel discouraged think about how far you've come. Celebrate past victories as they don't expire and often serve as a reminder of your capacity, and embrace setbacks because no matter how crazy it gets, no situation is permanent.

In every gym when someone decides to place an unreasonable amount of weight on the bar you'll get an increased viewership 👀. People quietly doubt that you can move that weight and will simply hover around, pretend to be practising active recovery while sneaking in a few gawks until you make them believers. I love that feeling, but to get it you have to actually BE strong enough to pull it off. This is how I go about it:

Go hard, then go soft 
Weekly cycling of heavy lifting with lighter, more 'pump' based lifting optimizes your strength potential. The reasoning is simple, the different stimulus forces adaptations while allowing you to recover sufficiently before going BIG again. I used to lift heavy every chance I got until I plateaued. I was both mentally and physically cooked. I switched it up, enjoyed my sessions, recovered better and started increasing how much weight I could move. This is the general outline of my programming for compound lifts (squat, deadlift, bench press, overhead press).

Eat big, to lift big
I'm a committed intermittent faster and during my eating window I eat BIG,  with particular emphasis on carbohydrates (bananas, berries, rice, oats and sweet potatoes) to top off glycogen stores and protein (animal meats, eggs, cow milk) to facilitate muscle recovery. Any downward adjustment in food intake i.e. low carb diet will make heavy lifts difficult. You have to put in what you want to get out.

Creatine and caffeine
Probably the only two things a natural, recreational strength athlete needs to get a small boost in lifting capacity. I take them as a basic strength supplement stack and it works well for me. 

Mental recalibration
Ever gotten under a bar and worried about not getting back up if you go down? It's common with high risk lifts like bench press and squat. If you're smart about your lifting and you opt to progressively overload then that gradual progression can help you eliminate any fear of a mishap. You have built yourself up to handle that load so fear not.

Get ugly, get aggressive
Max lift, pretty face? Unlikely. Heavy weight, composed approach? Not a chance. When you're churning out maximum output you have to, quite literally, get ugly and aggressive. Embrace your inner savage to get the most out of your lifts.