The Subtle Art of Ignoring Insults

Ever been conscious of the fact that unpleasant social interactions often eat away at your mental health? I just got off a call with a loved one, and they just had one of those encounters. I started to recall my own episodes and dissect them. Why did they happen? What were the triggers? How was I affected and what did I learn from it?

Mwaiche Wandi (My Youngster)
🗣️"Ni mufana wanga uyu!" (That's my young boy!) said the bank teller as I walked up to his till. I looked left, looked right, and even looked behind me to establish who this gentleman was talking to before realizing I was the only customer in close proximity. He persisted, even sharing childhood memories I remembered nothing of. Some of you might have had similar interactions in different environments such as those with deluded former high school or college superstars  thinking they still reign supreme by reminding you of a social hierarchy that no longer exists.

The fact is, you're never doing as well as the person you're trying to belittle. And to those that are victims of this practice, take it as a compliment as people often inflate themselves 🎈just to find enough oxygen to hold a conversation with you and make themselves feel better about their shortcomings.

🎣 Don't take the bait!
I vividly remember a nasty encounter with a superior who kept poking the bear very early in the morning at the office! In all his malice, and with my fury evident in my flushed face and steaming nostrils 😤, my guardian angel sat on my shoulder and warned me: "Nick. He's a fisherman." At the time I felt small, muted with a lump in my throat, but eventually found satisfaction in wisdom prevailing. In corporate and social settings, people will try to drag you down, and if you're not alert, by the time you're done rolling in the mud 🐖 🤬, the only dirty pig is you.

Fishermen catch any fish dumb enough to bite. Never let anyone bait you into a reaction 😡. When in doubt, close your mouth.

🦻🏾 Umfwa iwe (Listen)
I have a borrowed story for this section. I recall a colleague of mine reaching out because they were being imposed upon, and spoken to condescendingly repeatedly by a coworker. They wanted to retaliate with an uppercut, and a roundhouse kick, but I advised against it. Why? Because thick skin 🐊 saves many from emotional meltdowns and reputational damage. You don't have to address or confront every situation or person that offends you. Always view disrespect as the distributor's deficiency, not the receiver's. Overwhelm them with respect and kindness, it'll infuriate them. Lead with love and eventually you'll tame the beast.