Poop Party! Digestion & Health

Ever attended a poop party by force? Don’t want to talk about it? Cool. I’ll talk about my experience on the dance floor of a foreign bathroom. In my younger years I remember visiting a friend’s home when a riot abruptly broke out in my stomach soon after arrival. I composed myself, asked where the bathroom was and made my way there. Got there in one piece and attempted to negotiate peace with my unsettled stomach but diplomacy had failed and missiles launched the moment I took a seat 💩 🚀 . The war was over in a matter of seconds! I breathed a sigh of relief and reached out for toilet paper, dressed up and attempted to flush………NO WATER 💦 😨 kwa bene imwe! Nati kwasila na onekela! To add insult to injury right at that very moment someone was knocking because they too needed to use the bathroom. Hmmm. Anyway, ma detail ya paka so I’ll end here. What I want to share with you is that you don’t have live this same story and literally find yourself in a shitty situation. You don’t have to be at war with your bowel movement. You can regulate and influence when you need some ‘alone time’ before you sebanya yourself pa bantu. How?

• Motion 🚶🏾‍♂️ 🏃🏿‍♂️
  

Higher levels of activity helps move things along faster so get going for 30-60 minutes daily with whatever activity it is that you enjoy doing. I’m yet to find a constipated runner, or at least one that’s experienced sustained constipation.

• Nutrition 🍏

If things aren’t happening then you need to look into your fiber intake. Fiber is undigested carbohydrates that add the bulk to your poop and help push waste out. Things such as your weetabix, bran flakes, brown rice, wholegrain pasta and bread, beans, yoghurt, vegetables and fruit (apples, pears, mangoes and guava in particular) are tremendously helpful. For those that don’t like these these basic and common options then consider adding snacks like popcorn 🍿 or tamarind to your already existing meal preferences. NB: I personally consider the regularity of my bowel movement as an indication of the quality of foods I’ve been consuming in the recent past. Your body will respond to how you feed it and for me constipation is rebellion.

• Hydration 💧

Quantity, type as well as the temperature of the fluid you consume has a big say on bowel movement. Quantity = the more the better. Ultimately fluid acts as a lubricant so unless you like pressure on a toilet seat I suggest that you increase your intake. 40mls x your body weight is good place to start. Type = plain water 💦 , black coffee ☕️ , green tea 🍵 , mabisi (fermented milk 🥛) plus any other drink that contains kawawasha (tamarind) are great bowel support options. Temperature = warm beverages loosen things up and help lubricate. Don’t believe me? Try drinking a warm beer.

👆🏾This is generic advice so find what combination works for you. Below is what I do specifically to ensure bowel movement 💩 as the first order of business every morning as I flush yesterday’s problems:
Upon waking up I’d take a small cup of moringa tea (brewed 5-10 mins in hot water) + 500mls of plain warm water with sliced lemon. It takes about 30 minutes flat (or less) till detonation 💣 . I start my days ‘unburdened’, unshackled and unleashed every day, you should too. Don’t let nothing weigh you down in life 😌.

Bonus life tip:
Always check the water levels before you rush to answer the call of nature! Especially when you’re in an environment other than home.

Conclusion
I don’t have to tell you about the benefits of regular visits to the bathroom because you know exactly how off your game you feel when you’ve been a stranger. Prioritize ensuring that what you put in your mouth consistently finds its way out the other side and you’ll not only thrive in life but also avoid finding yourself in compromising situations. You should determine when it’s ‘time to go’ because if you wait on the call of nature you may only belatedly realize that a busy tone is not possible and you might not have toilet paper or water to mitigate an impending disaster!


⭐️ Supplementary reading:

• Gas Issues
• Digging Your Grave With a Knife and Fork
• Detox